I had to break out my "english to slang" translation book ... but I like it ... loosely translated of course ...
You won't have to worry about it. The odds of Saint Peter actually existing are infinitesimal.
i'd say nothing, just drop to my knees, and blow St. P like he'd never been blown before.
open sesame!
I'm Confused. If that is what you are going to say, I think your chances will be reduced. I wish you well and I hope it works for you.
How about "I don't want into your stinking heaven anyway"?
If you're smart you'll convert to some form of Germanic Heathenism, join the military and get shot during a firefight thereby assuring your entrance into Valhalla. There you will be served many tasty pork products and the finest mead by comely Valkyrie until Ragnarök. No butt kissing of deities required at any point. Now, which "heaven" sounds like more fun to you? Eternal praising of a megalomaniacal deity or booze, babes and bacon?
Um, well, go ahead and try it although I doubt you'll have the guts and what makes you think Saint Peter is going to say that? It's not his choice who enters Heaven.
You are drunk now! And you will probably be resurrected drunk.
Say this, Jesus and krazyabouthim love me. And they love me so much they want me here.
love you.
Wow, you're like one of those people who, finding themselves a hostage to extremists, would antagonize their captors just for fun . . .
Just say your a mate of St Daves. You can get in anywhere by saying that.
I know you're picking on Christianity, but maybe you should get a better grasp on the idea of heaven and hell before attempting to mock God. Islam teaches us that after you die, your soul will be reunited with your body on the Great and Judgment Day and you will stand before God to be judged by Him, the best of Judges. No man could ever judge whether or not you deserve the abundant rewards bestowed upon the dwellers of Paradise.
I cannot judge you, but based on what Allah has revealed to us to make judgments, Allah might say to you: "Why did you deny My greatness when I had made you in gradual stages? Why did you reject the messenger I sent to you, from among yourselves, who warned you of this day? Why did you not seek the truth but only mock at it? Enter the gates of Hell and dwell therein forever!"
It is sad for me to hear that you feel as though you are already living in Hell. Maybe this is because your soul is searching for answers yet you cannot find truthful ones, so the emptiness that you feel from the lack of understanding is like unto Hell.
Maybe you should search other places for truth. I am only 22 years old, I have no money, no car and I have one room in a house that is not mine, yet I am in Heaven on earth. Knowing the truth about Allah (God) has opened my eyes, but the only way to that truth is to ask the Almighty to guide you to Him. Peace be unto you and the Blessings of Allah.
If that doesn't work, I don't know what will