I'm 16 years old, and I don't know if its relevant or not, but I've been diagnosed with Cyclothymia. For a few years i've been looking for sleeping pills to help me sleep. Every night, since I was 7 years old, I've been having nightmares..Nightmares about death, about people dying, including me and my family..I've had dreams about the end of the world, dreams about murder..Just all this stuff that scares me straight...It sounds like a big issue, but it's not. I am NOT a psychopath..I can be weird but, these dreams have no influence on me. In fact, its a pretty small issue. I'm not too concerned about getting medication for my sleep, well..At least, I wasn't..I never told anyone about it because I was hoping it was something that'd go away. But it'll never go away..Because a lot of my family has had the same nightmares, on my dads side anyways..So my guess is that its genetics, and I inherit the dreams..
They're so real...So..cloudy, but yet vivid..I write about them..I've only seen one dead body in my entire life..But with my dreams, I don't know..I see stuff that I didn't even know existed..I see sides from people that no one including me, sees in real life..And I don't watch movies, or TV..But yet, in my mind, in my dreams, I've seen people killed in brutal ways..I've seen their bodies..
Don't get me wrong, I dont intend on making it sound this bad, but it is what it is..I mean, it used to be really bad, but I get used to it..Now it's just something i have no problem with..Or so I thought..
Now..I can't take it anymore..Last night, I had a full fledged night terror..I was awake through the whole thing, partially anyways..And I could hear myself moaning, and trying to wake up..Last night was a biggie..One of those that scare me straight for a few days..And its very rare that they make me cry..But last night was one of those nights where I sat in the bathroom and cried.
Now Im afraid to go to sleep..I don't want to go into this dream world again..Please help me, I'm starting to get very terrified, especially since some of them take place in my OWN F**KING HOUSE!!!
Before you answer, please..Don't even bring up any of that exorcist stuff, and Don't even bring up my house being haunted. It's never been haunted. It was built by a lovely french couple that wanted a home.
Seriously, i'm freaking out here..I just want some sleep. I take Nyquil everynight, but now I want the REAL thing..The real deal..Something that actually makes me sleep.
I'm going to my psychiatrist but I honestly don't trust those people(No offense to any of you. You do a great job helping people. But I just don't want the psychiatrist to make it a bigger deal then it is. And yes, I'm asking for drugs, but not drugs that'll change my lifestyle like anti-depressants.)