12 a day habit. Three weeks ago I was nearly over my two week withdrawls from the last stint. Withdrawals are homicide and final for weeks. I don't want to move and lay on my couch All Day Long in hurting.
My supplier keeps calling me and telling me he has some. I haven't returned his calls and don't want to.
Start weaning yourself off of them slowly. Cut down the amount of pills you take every few days. Once you receive used to it, chop out a few more...and so on. You shouldn't feel nearly as sick by doing it slowly. I'm in your shoes, though I do not take 12 a day. Right now I am approximately at 4 and trying to get off them, but it certain isn't easy. I have a severe anxiety disorder, which is why I started taking them in the first place, but I can't keep living like this either. It's expensive and sucking the life out of me. You can do this! Just do it slowly. Whether you don't, you're going to suffer.
Good luck!